More Feathers in my Empty Nest

In July 2008, Pretty Princess graduated from High School and moved from where we were living back to our home state. Pop and I thought we were experiencing an empty nest permanently at that time. I blogged about it then, as I sorted through my youngest's things. At that time, I never dreamed that our we would move back home where our girls' and their families live, and settle into a multi-generation home...full of life, noise, fun, and sometimes chaos. Happy, crazy chaos.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you already know about our multi-generational family living arrangement for the past nearly two years. This past weekend, it came to an end...not in a dramatic, sad way - but in a happy, watching-to-see-what-God-will-do kind of way. EJ and Farm Chick are being blessed in a big way with the house they have just bought and moved in to. Bubba, Wubba, and Q are going to LOVE their new house and probably will grow up with very distant memories of living with Pop and Grammy. It's good stuff.

Two days ago, I quietly worked away doing things that would help facilitate the farmhands' move to their new home in the "city" while Q was getting a nap in his pack'n'play and everyone else was somewhere else. As I washed down the dining room table and chairs, I was reminded of all the meals we had shared - usually cooked by Farm Chick. I used a thumbnail to scrape off a little bit of brownie and thought about how much fun it has been to be a part of a daily ritual that many have discarded as old-fashioned...we call it dinner. I thought about all the laughs we have shared as we watched the boys antics and the events of each day were reviewed. What a privilege.

God gave us this precious time and my hope is that EJ and Farm Chick and the cowboys will have great memories of our "great adventure" at Four Sisters Farm together. EJ and Farm Chick, you have helped make our dream of a place for our family to gather come true. As I've read over old blog posts and realized all that has been accomplished here, I am reminded that we have much to be grateful for...you have contributed much. We choose to think upon good things, but we have weathered a few storms as we learned to make our living arrangement work. I pray that you will reap blessings and benefits from living at Four Sisters Farm and have wonderful memories that you will share and laugh about long after Pop and I are gone...now about the future...

We're looking forward to many more gatherings - with all the four sisters and their families - all at one time or one at a time - each gathering will be a blessing to us. I thank God for our Four Sisters Farm family and friends and while it will quieter than we're used to, Pop and I will enjoy each and every moment here...living the dream.

As I said the last time our nest became empty, "The house is more quiet than ever before...emptier than ever before...but my heart is more full than ever. Thank You, God!"

Do You Get Me?

Lately, I've had a series of events (or should I say, missed events) that have made me stop and think. There are people in my life I love. A lot. I would die for them if the opportunity presented itself. I certainly hope you know who you are...if not, I'm failing even more miserably than I suspect.

We have lived in quite a few different places and made friends in each location, have a fairly large family (that continues to grow, of course) as well as large extended families on Pop's side and mine, and have precious friends from early on in our lives with whom we still try to stay in some form of contact.

Facebook is a wonderful tool and my "friend list" keeps growing but I've noticed that the larger it grows, the less intimate the contact becomes. I'll keep at it because just hearing what folks are doing and seeing pictures of them and their families is important to me. Besides family, I have elementary through high school chums I see there, friends from churches we've attended in various places, cousins I haven't seen in years, and the list goes on. It's all good stuff.

But...I have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time. I've let birthdays, anniversaries, and expressions of sympathy go unattended; meaning I haven't sent cards or letters or made arrangements for memorials or flowers to be sent. Then there are what I call the "Hallmark-Generated Holidays" like Valentines Day, etc. It's overwhelming! I feel like a "deadbeat" mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, niece, and cousin.

I remember feeling this same angst some years ago as I tried so very hard to pray for everyone I know. I also remember the sweet relief that came when I realized I can rely on the Holy Spirit to bring to my mind the people God wants me to pray for - when He wants me to pray for them. Then, I learned I could focus intently on one person (or couple/family) at a time.

I just finished reading "The Forgotten God" by Francis Chan about our relationship with God through the Holy Spirit residing in His children. I guess that is why this is so fresh on my mind that I felt compelled to share how I'm feeling today.

While I'm not giving up recognizing life events of those I love, I need to actively release the people I love from the trappings of expressions that we feel compelled to be bound by...and I seek to be released as well. My heart's desire is to be Spirit-filled and Spirit-led. How about you? Do you get me?

2 Corinthians 13:14 "May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all."

I love being silly with Pop

Recently Pop and I received an email request from Farm Chick asking about our availability to watch the cowboys for her and EJ...Pop and I love spending time with our grandchildren...that isn't a question but schedules do get hectic at times so we needed to compare calendars...via email...

Farm Chick: Hi Mom and Dad! I was just looking at the calendar and had some requests...For EJ’s office Christmas party this Saturday night...Would you be available to keep the boys that night? Next, I am planning to take EJ out for his birthday. I’m planning an overnight at a B&B. Will you guys be available? Also, Mom, I have a doctor appointment on Monday, could the boys stay home with you while I do that? Thanks so much!Pop: I would love to spend time with them. Count me in.
Grammy: Pop (Honey/Baby/Sweetheart/My Love), is anything on your calendar that would keep us from wrangling cowboys for the Christmas party and the birthday excursion? The daytime appointment is no problem - I'll be here.
Pop: Grammy, (Sugar Baby/Love of My Life), I am in on the Cowboy roundup. I will be planning several man outings but you will be invited because you are an honorary Cowboy (and B will not go without you anyway) plus we may need a little lunch and dinner and maybe some snacks and pancakes and stuff. So we will waive the rules and let you join us but you can not act like a “Gril” and question us on the dangerous and adventurous stuff we do. However, if we get an ouchy or need attire assistance, you may feel free to help us. It's complicated as we are complicated and you can feel free to ask for clarification on any issue that may arise.
Grammy: Darling Man of Mine...Though the world of boys is somewhat foreign to me, you have been so very gracious to help me understand and navigate in the "man world" when need be and I do appreciate it. I think your proposition of the Cowboy Roundup is acceptable to me. I will stand by with food, drinks, love, understanding, ice packs, and bandages. I will also be available to administer hugs, smooches, dry diapers and/or clean clothing if needed. I do love my complicated men and will keep trying to figure you all out until the day I go to be with God. Thanks for your kind instruction on the matters of men where I am concerned and thanks also for keeping things that I don't need to know to yourself.

All my love,
Your Woman
Pop: Now that's the way to manage a Man!! Nicely done!!!! It is no wonder you have been invited into the hallowed world of Boydom. I would suggest that you share this insight with women everywhere, but heck we don't have to put up with them and it would probably take away your focus on us. Consequently, those guys are "on their own" sucks to be them!!!!

All my love,
Your Man

I don't really care much what we're doing...I like doing it with Pop...and when you throw the grandkids into the mix it's even more fun. I love being silly with Pop.

High School Sweethearts: Grammy & Pop

Grammy's Version: We grew up in the same small Kansas town and I remember the day I fell in love with Pop. I was in the fifth grade and he in the sixth. I had seen him before and knew who he was but one day as I met him on the stairs at school (for some reason it was just the two of us – we must have been running errands for our teachers), I saw him for the first time as someone I loved. I awkwardly said, “Hi” and he nodded. I was deeply impacted. I can still see the sunlight streaming in the window and highlighting his blond hair, blue eyes, and strong shape. We didn’t date until high school but God planted something in my heart that day I didn’t quite understand. I didn’t chase after him or stake any claims; but I was filled with a sense of assurance in the way I felt about him. We married while we were still in high school and 32 years, four children, and eight grandchildren later, I love him more than ever. There has never been another man I have loved as deeply and I know there will never be another I love so much.

For Pop's most recent birthday, I came up with one reason for every year of his life that I love him and I can honestly say it wasn't much of a challenge. There are things he does for me because he knows I like them - no other reason at all - just because I like them. Wow.

Even in our worst times I have known I can count on him to love God and love family - even if he didn't like me so much at the time. Just knowing that goes a long way in working through the hard times. I remember when we were really, really young (not kidding - really young) and were newly married...we talked about growing old together...about having a home intact where our children could come and bring our grandchildren too. I think God puts that in the hearts of His children and if we let Him, He brings it all to reality. There have been times I wasn't sure of myself or sure that we could do it but I've always known that God can and that's enough.

I would say that Pop never makes me crazy but that would be untrue...it is interesting though that the things I least understand about him are some of the things I love the most. He is truly passionate about things and his passion is often so intense that it unnerves me a little...it is so different than how passion looks on me. He is driven and self-motivated to work hard and play hard and plan ahead. In so many ways, we are complete opposites; yet somehow it works perfectly. Oh, we have had struggles along the way trying to make sense of each other and God has used those struggles to grown us in grace.

Pop's Version: Grammy and I are truly small town sweethearts. I grew up playing with her brothers and have known her since we were literally children in elementary school. Ours is an unlikely story of young love that has lasted over 30 years and still growing.

I remember Grammy when we were 10 or so years old. She was my buddy’s sister and was often around when we were playing ball. She was cute and athletic but I was much too interested in playing sports to pay much attention to any girl. About the time I got interested in girls, Grammy became a life guard at the small town swimming pool. She was blonde, tan and beautiful. I remember going to the pool and just staring at her up there in the life guard chair. She has always made my heart beat faster and I am hopelessly drawn to her.

We dated in high school and I fell completely in love with Grammy. I was young, selfish and immature but I knew one thing for sure! I loved this girl!! She has always enhanced my life and never been a source of diminishment. She makes me secure, confident, and brave. At one point in our life at a very young age we had to make a decision about the rest of our life. We had to decide to either hold hands and take on the world or listen to others and let each other go. I offered my hand and Grammy took it. The rest as they say is history!!

I remember we only bought wedding bands because it was all we could afford. My brother married us in Grammy’s home because it was another time and getting married in a church would have been difficult. I look back at the pictures and understand the doubt and fear felt by those who loved us. We looked our age and certainly would not have inspired confidence in anyone. I realize now we had two things in our favor; we really loved each other and God is faithful.

It has been a wonderful 32 years. While there have been hard times, it has been a wonderful ride. I can still get lost in those beautiful brown eyes, and God has blessed me with the perfect partner. As surprising as this may sound, Grammy is not perfect but she is perfect for me. Over the years I have grown to appreciate her heart for God and family. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life and in a very real sense she probably rescued me from a life of regret. I am so very glad she took my hand all those many years ago!!

Ok, now as directed, a few of the little things that drive me nuts. It makes me crazy when Grammy does the startle response thing (you know, when someone sucks in air and makes that desperate sound like you are getting ready to be killed in a horrible car accident). Grammy has been known to cause whip lash in my neck as I snap my head around trying to find the emergency. It makes me crazy when Grammy starts major renovation projects at 10 O’clock at night. It seems she never finds inspiration for projects at a decent hour. She occasionally stays up half the night working on a project and then she sneaks into bed and invariably puts her cold feet on me. Even as I write this, a smile is working its way into the corner of my mouth. I realize even the things she does that make me crazy, have somehow become a part of my fascination with her. I am totally and completely taken with Grammy. My love for her is deep and strong. She is my Great Love!!!