A Big Lesson from Four Small Quilts

I'm not a quilter.  Really...I am not.  I have seen some incredible quilts made by amazing quilters.  I can sew...but sewing is only part of quilting.  I have made sixteen photo quilts for sixteen of our grandbabies when they turned one year old.  Though they hold high sentimental value and are treasured by our sweet grandblessings, they are not works of art. (Note: The Growing Table's sweet Mei Mei has one coming for her birthday later this year!)

My mom had asked for some help to take four quilt tops she had been given and put them together with batting and backing...and bind them...and tie them...then deliver them to a nearby children's home.  The story is that my dad's recently passed away cousin, along with her husband, used to make quilts and donate them to this particular home.  Mom and Dad thought it would be nice if we finished up these quilts and donated them in her memory.  I told her yes (because I pretty much still do what she tells/asks of me) and I brought everything home...where it sat for a good long while.

The quilt tops were interesting to say the least.  They were the products of someone's unfinished work.  They were not colors or patterns I was drawn to at all.  Some of the work was not as well done as I thought I should have been.  In short, I didn't much care for these quilt tops and only my promise to Mom and Dad inspired me to finish them.  As I talked with my friend "Daina" one day and told her about these quilts that I needed OFF my to-do list, she offered encouragement and prayer and a promise (threat) that she would require a status update in a few days.  I started in.

As I began the process of pressing, batting, tying, and binding them it occurred to me that I was a snob.  It wasn't that I didn't have the time to do the work...I simply hadn't made it a priority because I didn't think they were up to my standards...PRIDE was standing in my way of offering four children snuggly, warm quilts to call their own.  As I sewed, I humbled myself and found my softened heart broken by the truth.  I felt God compelling me to complete this work to the best of my ability, in spite of what I started with.  I felt the Truth wash over me that these quilts were much like me...in need of work.  I confessed my pride and thanked God for the fact that He makes all things beautiful in His time (even me), I thanked Him that He takes the rags of our lives and makes all things new.

The Last of The Four Quilts
(and the most needy) in Progress

I finished the first three in a short time...oh, but the fourth...it appears to have been hand stitched by an older woman with poor eyesight out of old fabrics that don't really go together.  As I pondered what to do, I told my Mom about it.  I feared that if I put it together as I had the other three, it would fall apart in the wash...literally.  I knew it would require hand quilting in order to be used, washed, and loved.  Mom released me from it, saying she was sure I had more important things to spend my time one.  But I couldn't let it go...I was compelled to finish it.

Now I see these quilts in a completely different light.  I see beauty, comfort, and warmth.  I see the hard work of other seamstress' hands used for a purpose they could not foresee and that I was called upon to complete.  I see fabrics that may remind a child of a dress their mother, grandmother, or sister used to wear or that feels like their father's shirt.  I pray that God will take them and use them to speak love to four children in a way that only He can.  I pray that He will wrap His arms around them as they wrap in these quilts and that they will feel His total and unconditional love in pieces of fabric stitched together to make unique quilts...much like God pieces together the events of our lives to make something beautiful in His time.

Love and Longing

"...as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings..." Matthew 23:37

As I drove into town a few days ago, my mind raced.  I had errands to run, daughters to visit, and grandchildren to play with.   Then suddenly, my thoughts pulled off the busy highway of my mind and I was overcome with the longing I often feel to be in the presence of those I love.  I thought about how I long to be in the presence of my mom and dad...I long to be present with our daughters...I long to spend time with my sister and brothers...relatives and friends...I long to share life with them...not for a big event or anything special...just an ordinary day...just a cup of coffee or tea...just a sandwich or a snack and some conversation.  But we all have lives to live, work to be done, responsibilities to fulfill.

Sometimes the intensity of that longing brings tears...sometimes sweet memories and smiles...sometimes I make myself a promise to make a phone call so I can hear the voice of one I love.

I wondered if God longs for us that way...and I believe He must.  "And I will be your Father, and you will be My sons and daughters", says the Lord Almighty (2 Corinthians 6:1).  God is the author of family.   Isaiah 66:13 says, "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you..."  And Isaiah 49:15-16 says, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..."

It is easy to see that, since we are created in God's image, we bear resemblance to our heavenly Father.  We have multiple roles...we are children, siblings, parents, grandparents...and His love runs in and through each of those roles...teaching us, loving and helping others through our gifts of time and service...always drawing us to Himself regardless of which role we currently play.  

I am learning to be free in love.  Free to love and be loved.  Free to allow God to orchestrate and direct my days and free to trust Him to lead.

This kind of freedom makes me want to run to God just to glimpse His face.  To see Him look at me the way my parents looked at me when I was a child...to see unconditional love...and to feel that love completely.  Then, in turn, I want my others to see that same love reflected on my countenance when they see me.

I'm grateful it is a process...and I'm grateful God is in control of it!  1 John 4:12 says, "No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us."

Love on, my loved ones...love on.

A Lesson Learned from a Little One

Pop and I love our grandchildren beyond any love we could have ever imagined and have learned a little bit about the nature of God through our children and grandchildren.  

As we gathered for Thanksgiving this year, Rock Star's and PhoJo's only daughter illustrated a truth about God that I will always treasure.  

You see, there is something special about our little Super Girl...something very quiet, very sweet, something that draws you into her world.  She shares herself in a way that children seem better at than adults.  She is open and transparent.  She is kind and gentle.  She gravitates towards the babies and sweetly talks to and touches them. 

She also has a heart for her Pop that is just precious.  When we are all gathered and there is total chaos all around, she makes her way to her Pop and climbs up in his lap to visit with him.  Nothing big.  No production. No wanting her own way.  She just wants to be close to him.

"Thanksgiving Pilgrim Super Girl"

So in the crazy time before we sat down to eat, Pop asked the grandchildren to share their favorite thing about Thanksgiving.  He started with the oldest and worked his way down the line.  We heard sweet things like "coming to the farm" and fun things like "I'm thankful for the pilgrims who settled in America."  When Supergirl's turn came, the bigger kids were ready to move on to eating and were not so quietly listening...

While Pop and I tried to hear her (be still my heart), she stepped over close to him with her eyes locked on mine (sniff), she leaned in and wrapped both arms around Pop's leg as he leaned against the kitchen counter, gently laid her head on his thigh and said what she wanted to say...confident that she was being heard by both her Pop and Grammy (tears falling and lump in my throat).  That sweet image is seared on my brain and heart forever.

As Pop and I talked that night, I related that I saw in that moment a full-color illustration of  what our relationship can be like with our heavenly Father.  When there is chaos all around us, all we have to do is lean into the Father.  We don't have to worry.  We don't have to compete.  We simply draw near, knowing full well that we are welcome and loved and heard.

Hebrews 4:16 (Young's Literal Translation) puts it this way "...we may come near, then, with freedom, to the throne of the grace, that we may receive kindness, and find grace -- for seasonable help."

One of my favorite authors of late, Ann Voskamp who ties being thankful with being in God's presence put it this way in her book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, "The practice of giving thanks...eucharisteo...this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes.  We don't have to change what we see.  Only the way we see."

I want to be with God the way Supergirl is with Pop.  I'll keep watching and learning from the children.  They have much to teach me. 

Jesus said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Super Girl with her Dad, Mom, and brothers

Raising Delightful Children

One day this past week I was listening to a Wednesdays with Beth (Moore) lesson online called "Victory Through Chastisement" (Part 1 and Part 2) and as I identified with what Beth said, one statement in particular made me take notice.  She said, "God goes, 'You know what?  You are so delightful to me that I would like you to learn to be a delight to others.'"

Pop, Grammy, and the Four Sisters (1992)

That statement took me back to years ago when our girls were young and Pop and I were working hard to raise them.  Pop was wise even then (though sometimes he denies it).  He would say, "I want other people to enjoy our girls as much as we do."

And so...with that philosophy, and the love and support of family and friends, we tried hard to discipline our daughters in a way that would bring about good things: love, obedience, kindness and the like.  What I didn't fully understand then is that we were imitating our heavenly Father who does that very thing with His beloved children.

Consider these verses:

• Proverbs 3:11-12 "My son,do not despise the Lord’s discipline,and do not resent his rebuke,because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. 
•  Hebrews 12:6-13 “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined — and everyone undergoes discipline — then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

We had friends who marveled at our daughters when they were young because they seemed mature in a group setting and would make a remark or answer a question as they joined in as we visited.  We somehow knew that we were not just raising "kids", our goal was to raise our children to be lovable and loving adults. That involves thought and consistency and discipline.  We were not always consistent and certainly not always thoughtful; but God blessed our efforts and we are so pleased with the women they have become.

With 14 grandchildren (Number 15 is still hiding out in his momma's tummy and is due on February 18 by c-section.) and our four daughters fully grown for some time now, Pop and I are no longer in the throes of raising children.  We have the privilege and honor of helping our children as they raise their children.  We are grateful that we are not the ones having to discipline. Loving them and spending time with them is our focus; but we do feel compelled to support the work of their parents.  

The Four Sisters - Christmas 2013

With four grown daughters who each has her own goals, ideals, and ways of raising children, Pop and I sometimes have to shift gears as we spend time with our grandchildren, recognizing that they come from different parents and are not all being raised exactly the same way.  Pop and I were blessed by parents who gave us permission to do things differently with our children and we have chosen to give that same gift to our daughters. We have the benefit of hindsight and of knowing that God gave each of our grandchildren exactly the parents He intended...and vice versa.  

In this life, there is no "one-size-fits-all" for relationships...and that includes child/parent relationships.  It looks different from family to family and it can all be good.  I love to encourage young parents.  Raising children is the hardest job you will ever do in your life...and you can raise loving, godly children with God's help.  It is never too late to make changes and never too late to tell your children sorry.  It is advisable  to ask for help, to figure out what works (even if it means employing different methods than your parents did), and above all else, to pray...because your heavenly Father is the best at raising kids...after all, He's still raising you and me!

Quiet Time Interrupters...Kids

A while back DW told me that she was up early for some quiet time and one of her "littles" got up and interrupted.  (Heavy Sigh.)

I knew exactly how she felt!  I told her that when she was small (like three or four), she was my quiet-time interrupter. It seemed that no matter how early I got up for Bible reading, she would get up and "find" me.

DW commented that maybe it was her payback now.

Neither DW nor I really think that God works that way, but life seems to have those things that "come around"...as in "what goes around, comes around."

So I was enjoying some time in the Word recently and that conversation popped into my head with a new revelation/realization...are you ready???

Just as we are designed to sense our heavenly Father moving and active in our lives, our "littles" seem to sense us active and moving in their lives.  

THEY SEEK US OUT...They come to see us in action, they come to get their needs met, they come just to snuggle, THEY JUST COME!!!

I wish I had made that connection so long ago...I would have been so much more patient...I would have seen that my child loves and trusts me SO much that she feels free to come to me - anytime - anywhere - anyway - and for any reason.

Oh, Father God, thank You that we can come to you as Your "littles" and trust that You are always ready and willing to receive us.  Thank You for Your great love that You so freely lavish upon us.  Help us to see You in our everyday lives and in the lives of our families.  Thank You for not viewing us as interruptions to Your important work.  I love You, God.  Amen.

It Just Can't be Done...Family Photos

Every now and then I get the urge to start in again...that's right...to sort through all the family photos and to finally get them organized.  I recently sorted a bunch of digital pictures and put them away in their folders by year.  I'll take the next step someday when the first step is done.

But here's my problem:  how do I sort the pictures of all my beautiful daughters, their handsome hubbies, and their perfect children?  I mean, there are SO many pictures...and SO many of them have the faces of more than on family unit...which of the Four Sisters gets which photos?

I have boxes...not kidding...boxes of photos that I haven't already given to the girls.  Then there are the thousands of digital photos...literally!

So many memories...so many sweet pictures...and the number is growing exponentially.  Maybe by the time I am too old to work a computer I will have scanned the photos and digitally filed all the images.  (It's not polite to snicker, you know!)  Anyway...some day.

In the meantime, every once in a while, I flip through some pictures and stroll leisurely down memory lane.  I like to take someone with me when I go...usually one of the Four Sisters...they humor me sometimes. And sometimes they ask me questions that I don't know the answers too about the pictures we are looking at.  Our girls are all uniquely beautiful and certainly don't qualify as twins, but let me tell you, they have all gone through ages and stages when they looked so much alike I wouldn't be able to tell who was who if the photo backgrounds were not different.  I end up saying something like, "I think we were living in whatever city and whatever house and I think that is whichever sister's 3rd birthday."

For now, I will continue my hit or miss approach to photo organization. I know it's okay to do that, because my mom is still doing that.  I guess if I leave this earth without having fully done what I intended, my girls will enjoy the photos in whatever state they find them.  

In the meantime...aren't they so cute???