Happy 35th Anniversary Pop and Grammy!

Pop gave me some marriage wisdom several years ago that I will never forget...

"Your children will never understand how hard you had to fight to stay together.  They will just be glad you did."

Pop and Grammy, thank you for fighting.

Your marriage has blessed your children beyond belief.

We thank God for you both!

7 years of wedded bliss! :)

EJ and I were married 7 years ago today. We recorded our love story during the week of Valentine's Day. It's been a wonderful, exciting, challenging, and fulfilling ride so far.

One of the biggest blessings to come from our marriage are the little boys who ride in the back seat of the mini-van. As much as we enjoy the cowboys we also enjoy a night away! Step one in celebrating our anniversary. Take the cowboys to Grandpa and Grandma's house for the night!Grandpa surprised the boys with new fishing poles! They were so excited! They kept saying, "Bye Mommy, Bye Daddy." I'm pretty sure they meant... "Get out of here! We have some fishing to do!"Then we were foot loose and fancy free! We headed out to dinner followed by a night at Music Theatre. We realized that we are out of practice taking our own photo!

That's better!

We are privileged to have one another! I love celebrating our anniversary. Each one marks an important milestone in our lives. I am so thankful to have his hand to hold. I look forward to many more years to come! Thank you God for another year of marriage!

I love you Honey!!!

Smitten...

We had a theater class together. He was crazy shy and I was just crazy. I thought he was so so handsome and wanted to know him. We got to know each other a little and then he moved with his family to SC. I was heartbroken!! We hadn't known each other long, but I knew there was something BIG there and was begging God to work it out! When school began again that following year I was shocked when he came walking down the hall! I yelled to him and even though he's quiet and shy he grinned and yelled back. I fell hard and quick. I remember telling my dad one evening "Dad, I am smitten." He gave me a goofy look and said "well, who has smitten thee daughter?" I told him about this amazing man and it wasn't long that they would meet.
We were young... really young! But confident in our love for each other and we knew that God was orchestrating every detail. We had the easiest first year of marriage EVER! We were poor but didn't know it, we played video games for dates, made each other meals every day and dreamed of quitting jobs and doing nothing but being together! Nowadays we play superheros and knights, feed a child every five minutes and dream of being successful enough to do nothing but be together. There's no one on earth I'd rather have children with, share my heart with.


As for things that drive me crazy!! This wonderful man of mine can NOT find anything. His shoes could fall out of the sky and hit him in the face and he would still ask, "Honey, do you know where my shoes are?" Just this morning our oldest came in the bathroom and said "mommy, daddy is looking for my shoes. Can you go find them please, I wanna go bye bye." To be fair, he DID find the shoes THIS time. I love you, Husband.

Phojo:

My beautiful wife knows me better then anyone. I think it is safe to say that I am a shy person which is why my version seems so much funnier in my head. During the middle of my junior year I had returned to Kansas to finish up High School in hopes to redefine myself. I knew that God had plans for me and that I was willing to listen to Him. My thought was that I would become more outgoing and adventurous so I enrolled in a theater class to push myself in front of the crowd....then I walked in and met my future wife. First, I'm a sucker for blue eyes and she has the most stunning blue eyes you could ever hope to see. They also scared the ever loving pants off me. Obviously this made the whole process of making Phojo a new man a little bit harder. It took about three months for me to move my seat from one side of the room to the other in hopes to catch the attention of my future bride. Unfortunately once I finally got enough nerve to talk to her I had to move back to South Carolina (stinkin parents) for the summer.

I spent the entire summer trying to plan my next move. Yes, I am that smooth. After returning yet again to Kansas to finally finish school I made it my personal goal to learn everything about this little Rockstar and make her my best friend. Finally we both felt that we had developed something more than just friendship and my lovely wife confessed that she had a "crush" to which I politely turned her down. WHAT AN IDIOT. Didn't I say I was smooth. I was so unsure about my parents future plans for me that it made it hard to pursue Rockstar.

We decided to remain friends but it soon became abundantly clear that this amazing woman was what God had been leading me to all along. I told God that I wasn't sure of myself but I was completely sure of His will. So with this extra boost of confidence I finally had the courage to confess to Rockstar that I too had a "crush" and that it was more than just that. I was smitten.

My wife and I still laugh when we think about how we fell in love. Everyday I get to stare into those stunning blue eyes and I feel complete. I am amazed at how God orchestrates our life and how I know that this has all been within His timing. I could not imagine anyone else being the answer to so many prayers. If you have ever made a list of things you hope God will present in your life you can go ahead and look at my wife and you'll know what mine are.

As for the things that drive me crazy.....my wife really enjoys rearranging our home..a lot...just about every two weeks. Hmm..maybe that's why Phojo can't find anything.

Our Story

This is us on the top of the Empire State Building in December of 2008.

EJ's version: So I happened to eat lunch on Monday November 1st, 1999 at a different than usual time at the dining hall at college. I decided to go sit with two RAs (resident assistants) that I knew that were nice and another that I didn't know, but was cute. I enjoyed the conversation and was flirting with Farm Chick. On the way out of the dining hall she had gotten an ice cream cone and I casually asked if I could have a bite, she awkwardly obliged. So I bit the bottom of the cone off, laughed and ran off. She on the other hand held on to the cone (now dripping from the bottom...awesome!) and went to her boss and said..."Who's EJ?"...to which this gal said "...oh...I see you've met him." knowing that I had a big personality.

I was rather intrigued by this beautiful girl and decided to stalk her at lunch and found her at the same time the next two days...right at 12:30pm. We had some great talks and really enjoyed each other. Thursday I went to ask her out right before I went to go run...so I was just in my running shorts...very short and leopardish. She was somewhat shocked to see me like that and then promptly turned me down...without an alternative. So I took my heart that was wounded and ran it off. The next day I decided to ask again...I'm very persistent...and she said yes (finally). She spent the next month being pursued like no one has ever pursued anything. You've got to understand that I'm very very competitive and when I set my mind on doing something, I will do it and I will win. I am not trying to say that in a cocky way, I'm just very persistent. I knew within that month that she would be my bride and we would grow old together and chase after our dreams together. We knew that it'd be best to finish college before we got married so I waited 2 years to get engaged; the Christmas before we graduated. I played and sang "The Gift" by Jim Brickman on the piano to her in a really cool church. We wed 6+ months later in our home town on June 15th, 2002.
Now Farm Chick and I know some people. To give you an idea here are some statistics (only because I LOVE stats!). We had 7 bridesmaids, 7 groomsmen, 2 preachers, an organist, a pianist, a string quartet, a guitarist, a soloist, and we invited around 1,100 people to the party we called our wedding. That day there was several tornadoes and hail storms so there weren't that many people there, however there were around 550 people there even so.

Farm Chick and I have been through a lot in our short marriage, however I know that God has been there every step of the way. He has grown us closer together than I ever could have imagined. He has changed both of us to conform to His will and changed us and our desires drastically. That's what's great about Christ is that when you let him change you, His will is great to live under; much better than mine. I have a client who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and they are as loving to each other as ever. I can't wait until we are there! Here's to you Farm Chick!

Farm Chick says: I just read EJ's part and I'm grinning from ear to ear. It is true that he was persistent. I never had to wonder if I was "the one" for him.

I remember that first day in the dining hall. I had noticed EJ before on campus because he was always dressed nice and I thought he was very handsome. That day at the lunch table it seemed like everyone else disappeared and it was just us. I can remember being intrigued by this outgoing and joyful guy. I have to admit the ice cream cone thing was really strange. I guess he wanted to be sure he left an impression!

He worked hard to win me and I worked hard to guard my heart. I can remember praying that God would take him out of my life if this wasn't the right man. EJ thinks that is really funny...now. I distinctly remember God's response (no it wasn't audible but it was obvious in my spirit) "He is my gift to you. Don't reject my gift." After that I just felt a peace about it. I knew that we would have to do a lot of work to grow up together but I was up for the challenge.

The best day of my life was when I became EJ's wife. I will never forget walking down the aisle on Pop's arm and seeing him standing there. Tears were in his eyes and a huge grin was on his face. He loves me with an unconditional love. I love him back in the same way. We are human and we make mistakes but we are so thankful that we can find forgiveness in each other and in the mighty God we serve.

Our marriage has not been perfect but it has been an exciting ride so far! I am reminded of a quote from a favorite pastor (Voddie Baucham, Jr). He said, "I told my wife if you leave me, I'm going with you."

EJ and I are complete opposites in a lot of ways. We are as Grammy often says, "iron sharpening iron."

Here are some of our differences that create lovely irritations with each other...
He speaks in detail, I speak in headlines
He is a morning person, I am not
He loves corny jokes, I like dry humor
He sees the big picture, I get lost in the details
He is bold and adventurous, I am cautious and careful

The good news is...
We are both believers
We agree on our values
We agree on politics
We agree on budgeting (mostly)
We agree on the importance of family
We agree that we were made for each other
We agree that the cowboys are the biggest blessing we have ever received
We agree on loving the adventure of Four Sisters Farm
We agree that we love being married to each other!

The "Arranged" Marriage: Doc and DW

Our love story began before the two of us even knew each other. While I was in high school, we moved back to this area. Grammy and Pop were determined to find a good church home for our family. One Sunday morning, we went to try out a new church and we were warmly greeted at the door by my future Father-In-Law. He has sparkly, happy eyes and a quick smile and he was one of the main reasons we came back and started attending that church.

A few years later, my parents and in-laws were part of the same small group, meeting at our house every week. I was in college, but still living at home and I didn't really even know a "Doc" existed. He had been in college the whole time I had been acquainted with his parents. I guess I found out about him when his Mom started telling me to "break up with that boyfriend and wait until Doc moved back." I just laughed. I wasn't about to break up with my boyfriend to wait for a guy I'd never met. Turns out, Doc was hearing the same message over the phone. His Dad would casually mention my existence and tell Doc he needed to meet me when he moved home to finish his last two years of med school in our home town. Doc wondered why his Dad was constantly telling him about me. He thought I was too young (he's 4 years older than me) and anyway, he'd kind of sworn off any serious relationships until he was in residency. Don't get me wrong...he was dating, just not women with spousal potential!

Doc moved home in the fall of 1998... the same fall that I packed my bags and went to France for four months to study abroad. Before I had left, I was volunteering as a youth group sponsor at church. When I returned and got back to volunteering, I discovered that Doc had moved back and was teaching the High School Sunday school class (Rock Star and Farm Chick were in his class). We began co-sponsoring a Bible study (on Revelations no less) together. I must point out here that when I say co-sponsoring, I mean Doc taught and I helped facilitate discussions...he's the brains of the outfit. One evening, after the kids had left, I was the last one out the door and Doc caught me. He asked if I was ok. He had noticed that I was a little down. I told him I was having guys problems. I was casually dating 3 guys (and yes, they all knew it wasn't exclusive) but none of them had real long term potential. I don't really remember exactly what Doc said, but I think it was something along the lines of, "you probably don't need to keep dating them if it isn't making you happy." All I remember was that he seemed genuine and caring and I was intrigued.

The following Sunday, I was at the back of the church video taping something from the service. Doc was sitting back there with his sister and her twin babies. I ended up sitting by Doc and playing with my future nephew the whole time. After the service, Doc suggested that we meet up and get something to eat the following Tuesday so that we could get to know each other better since we were doing the Bible study together. I agreed. We went out and I peppered him with questions about being a doctor, delivering babies and the like. I hung on his every word. He was so interesting. He dropped me off at my work (where my car was) and since we both had a great time, we agreed we should hang out again. The following Friday, we met up for a late movie and hung out at his apartment afterwards. By this time, it was apparent that we had sparks. Sparkly sparks.

We both had dates with other people the next night. The funny thing is, our other dates sealed the deal. We both ended up realizing that we had much more fun with each other than we did with our respective Saturday night dates. Sunday night, we got together and confessed our dissatisfaction with dating the others and decided we would date each other exclusively. Our first official date was the next Saturday. He took me to dinner and a jazz concert. We decided that we weren't huge jazz fans and left to hang out at his house. He had written me a letter telling me that he thought that this thing was the real deal. I told him that I agreed. About a week later, my mom and I went to dinner and I told her I was going to marry Doc. She said, " I know." Our parents knew, way before we did, that we would be good together...hence the on going joke that we had an "arranged marriage."

Our first date was in April. We got engaged (at church) the following August and were married the following May 29th. We have been joined at the hip and in the spirit ever since. We are best friends, partners, co-parents and the love of each other's life. We will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year and I can honestly say that we love each other more and more everyday. He complains about the grey in his beard making him look older but I relish it! I know it means that we are on our way to spending our lives together and growing old together. And grey hair or no hair, that man will always be my sweetheart and I will be his!

High School Sweethearts: Grammy & Pop

Grammy's Version: We grew up in the same small Kansas town and I remember the day I fell in love with Pop. I was in the fifth grade and he in the sixth. I had seen him before and knew who he was but one day as I met him on the stairs at school (for some reason it was just the two of us – we must have been running errands for our teachers), I saw him for the first time as someone I loved. I awkwardly said, “Hi” and he nodded. I was deeply impacted. I can still see the sunlight streaming in the window and highlighting his blond hair, blue eyes, and strong shape. We didn’t date until high school but God planted something in my heart that day I didn’t quite understand. I didn’t chase after him or stake any claims; but I was filled with a sense of assurance in the way I felt about him. We married while we were still in high school and 32 years, four children, and eight grandchildren later, I love him more than ever. There has never been another man I have loved as deeply and I know there will never be another I love so much.

For Pop's most recent birthday, I came up with one reason for every year of his life that I love him and I can honestly say it wasn't much of a challenge. There are things he does for me because he knows I like them - no other reason at all - just because I like them. Wow.

Even in our worst times I have known I can count on him to love God and love family - even if he didn't like me so much at the time. Just knowing that goes a long way in working through the hard times. I remember when we were really, really young (not kidding - really young) and were newly married...we talked about growing old together...about having a home intact where our children could come and bring our grandchildren too. I think God puts that in the hearts of His children and if we let Him, He brings it all to reality. There have been times I wasn't sure of myself or sure that we could do it but I've always known that God can and that's enough.

I would say that Pop never makes me crazy but that would be untrue...it is interesting though that the things I least understand about him are some of the things I love the most. He is truly passionate about things and his passion is often so intense that it unnerves me a little...it is so different than how passion looks on me. He is driven and self-motivated to work hard and play hard and plan ahead. In so many ways, we are complete opposites; yet somehow it works perfectly. Oh, we have had struggles along the way trying to make sense of each other and God has used those struggles to grown us in grace.

Pop's Version: Grammy and I are truly small town sweethearts. I grew up playing with her brothers and have known her since we were literally children in elementary school. Ours is an unlikely story of young love that has lasted over 30 years and still growing.

I remember Grammy when we were 10 or so years old. She was my buddy’s sister and was often around when we were playing ball. She was cute and athletic but I was much too interested in playing sports to pay much attention to any girl. About the time I got interested in girls, Grammy became a life guard at the small town swimming pool. She was blonde, tan and beautiful. I remember going to the pool and just staring at her up there in the life guard chair. She has always made my heart beat faster and I am hopelessly drawn to her.

We dated in high school and I fell completely in love with Grammy. I was young, selfish and immature but I knew one thing for sure! I loved this girl!! She has always enhanced my life and never been a source of diminishment. She makes me secure, confident, and brave. At one point in our life at a very young age we had to make a decision about the rest of our life. We had to decide to either hold hands and take on the world or listen to others and let each other go. I offered my hand and Grammy took it. The rest as they say is history!!

I remember we only bought wedding bands because it was all we could afford. My brother married us in Grammy’s home because it was another time and getting married in a church would have been difficult. I look back at the pictures and understand the doubt and fear felt by those who loved us. We looked our age and certainly would not have inspired confidence in anyone. I realize now we had two things in our favor; we really loved each other and God is faithful.

It has been a wonderful 32 years. While there have been hard times, it has been a wonderful ride. I can still get lost in those beautiful brown eyes, and God has blessed me with the perfect partner. As surprising as this may sound, Grammy is not perfect but she is perfect for me. Over the years I have grown to appreciate her heart for God and family. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life and in a very real sense she probably rescued me from a life of regret. I am so very glad she took my hand all those many years ago!!

Ok, now as directed, a few of the little things that drive me nuts. It makes me crazy when Grammy does the startle response thing (you know, when someone sucks in air and makes that desperate sound like you are getting ready to be killed in a horrible car accident). Grammy has been known to cause whip lash in my neck as I snap my head around trying to find the emergency. It makes me crazy when Grammy starts major renovation projects at 10 O’clock at night. It seems she never finds inspiration for projects at a decent hour. She occasionally stays up half the night working on a project and then she sneaks into bed and invariably puts her cold feet on me. Even as I write this, a smile is working its way into the corner of my mouth. I realize even the things she does that make me crazy, have somehow become a part of my fascination with her. I am totally and completely taken with Grammy. My love for her is deep and strong. She is my Great Love!!!