Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The "Arranged" Marriage: Doc and DW

Our love story began before the two of us even knew each other. While I was in high school, we moved back to this area. Grammy and Pop were determined to find a good church home for our family. One Sunday morning, we went to try out a new church and we were warmly greeted at the door by my future Father-In-Law. He has sparkly, happy eyes and a quick smile and he was one of the main reasons we came back and started attending that church.

A few years later, my parents and in-laws were part of the same small group, meeting at our house every week. I was in college, but still living at home and I didn't really even know a "Doc" existed. He had been in college the whole time I had been acquainted with his parents. I guess I found out about him when his Mom started telling me to "break up with that boyfriend and wait until Doc moved back." I just laughed. I wasn't about to break up with my boyfriend to wait for a guy I'd never met. Turns out, Doc was hearing the same message over the phone. His Dad would casually mention my existence and tell Doc he needed to meet me when he moved home to finish his last two years of med school in our home town. Doc wondered why his Dad was constantly telling him about me. He thought I was too young (he's 4 years older than me) and anyway, he'd kind of sworn off any serious relationships until he was in residency. Don't get me wrong...he was dating, just not women with spousal potential!

Doc moved home in the fall of 1998... the same fall that I packed my bags and went to France for four months to study abroad. Before I had left, I was volunteering as a youth group sponsor at church. When I returned and got back to volunteering, I discovered that Doc had moved back and was teaching the High School Sunday school class (Rock Star and Farm Chick were in his class). We began co-sponsoring a Bible study (on Revelations no less) together. I must point out here that when I say co-sponsoring, I mean Doc taught and I helped facilitate discussions...he's the brains of the outfit. One evening, after the kids had left, I was the last one out the door and Doc caught me. He asked if I was ok. He had noticed that I was a little down. I told him I was having guys problems. I was casually dating 3 guys (and yes, they all knew it wasn't exclusive) but none of them had real long term potential. I don't really remember exactly what Doc said, but I think it was something along the lines of, "you probably don't need to keep dating them if it isn't making you happy." All I remember was that he seemed genuine and caring and I was intrigued.

The following Sunday, I was at the back of the church video taping something from the service. Doc was sitting back there with his sister and her twin babies. I ended up sitting by Doc and playing with my future nephew the whole time. After the service, Doc suggested that we meet up and get something to eat the following Tuesday so that we could get to know each other better since we were doing the Bible study together. I agreed. We went out and I peppered him with questions about being a doctor, delivering babies and the like. I hung on his every word. He was so interesting. He dropped me off at my work (where my car was) and since we both had a great time, we agreed we should hang out again. The following Friday, we met up for a late movie and hung out at his apartment afterwards. By this time, it was apparent that we had sparks. Sparkly sparks.

We both had dates with other people the next night. The funny thing is, our other dates sealed the deal. We both ended up realizing that we had much more fun with each other than we did with our respective Saturday night dates. Sunday night, we got together and confessed our dissatisfaction with dating the others and decided we would date each other exclusively. Our first official date was the next Saturday. He took me to dinner and a jazz concert. We decided that we weren't huge jazz fans and left to hang out at his house. He had written me a letter telling me that he thought that this thing was the real deal. I told him that I agreed. About a week later, my mom and I went to dinner and I told her I was going to marry Doc. She said, " I know." Our parents knew, way before we did, that we would be good together...hence the on going joke that we had an "arranged marriage."

Our first date was in April. We got engaged (at church) the following August and were married the following May 29th. We have been joined at the hip and in the spirit ever since. We are best friends, partners, co-parents and the love of each other's life. We will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year and I can honestly say that we love each other more and more everyday. He complains about the grey in his beard making him look older but I relish it! I know it means that we are on our way to spending our lives together and growing old together. And grey hair or no hair, that man will always be my sweetheart and I will be his!


  1. It's good to be right about something...I still tease Doc's mom about "praying them together." It was awesome, by the way, to plan a wedding with people you know and love and wonderful to know how Doc was raised by getting to know his folks before we ever met him. Good stuff. :-) You two are really something special together and I love that you have "sparkly sparks."

  2. What wonderful parents you both have and what a great story! When you KNOW, you just KNOW.....and being individually God-centered when you meet makes it all the more clear. Love it!

  3. This is so sweet! How weird that my sister married my sunday school teacher. I'm so glad you guys have led the way. You are a wonderful example and I love ya!