Hello all, I have taken some time to collect my thoughts from the jail that they have so unjustly put me in. Yes, this is Daisy the so called "dunder heed". How slanderous is that?!! I'm on a short leash these days...if you know what I mean. So between my naps (which are frequent) I have had a chance to create my defense to these trumped up charges.
First, my accusers don't want to take me to trail for fear that they might lose because they have no witnesses. I know, I know Grammy would come to the stand first as the first "witness" however what has she really witnessed? NOTHING! She only saw me and my neighborly friend...we'll call him "Mr. Clucks" (names have been changed to protect the innocent) out on a nice "walk." We happened to be discussing the overpopulation of cattle in our area at the time.
Second, ask the prosecutor if they have EVER found the body?!! NO, it's all circumstantial evidence. These cases are rarely won, again another reason they want to just put me in a "Gitmo" and let me age slowly.
Lastly, it couldn't have been me because, as we all know, I have a bad leg. I believe that we have the documentation to prove this. How could I have done this crime?
Here's my suspicions. I believe it was those crafty cats. Those things have been out to get me from the word go. I think that it was a conspiracy with Ranger as the leader! And I think that it's dangerous to be letting our kids be around such a crafty criminal. I mean, who really wants to have their kids around these hardened thugs?
The first chicken that was hurt on our property was hurt at night before all the problems that we had that following day. Well, I'm kenneled at night so you know that it couldn't have been me. This supports my idea fully, along with common knowledge that cats "hunt" at night. Plus, have you seen the size of the rats that Ranger has killed? They're about the size of a small chicken! Coincidence? I think NOT!
I have snuck into the house unnoticed to post this while the farmers weren't looking. I would like to use the comments under this to be my petition to free me from my en slavery!