The one about the house

I cannot explain how this happened.  It just did.  The night I knew the twins were gone it came over me so strong.  I looked at EJ and said, "It's time.  Buy me a house."

You see we have been on the Four Sisters Farm adventure for almost 3 years now.  The first year we were here by ourselves and then God blessed us by bringing Pop and Grammy here for the past two years. 

The plan was for us to live in a multi-generational home for a couple more years until we were ready to build a place on EJ's family land.  With the housing market so low we can buy a heck of a house for much less than what we can build it.

The timing seemed a little crazy to those around me.  Everyone wanted to be sure that I wasn't acting out of grief.  I asked that everyone would give me grace if I freaked out and changed my mind in a week.  EJ contacted our realtor but told her that he wasn't sure if I would be able to go through with it.

But the feeling didn't go away.  It got stronger.  I felt like we needed to get in position to receive the blessing of more children.  (a strange emotion when you have just lost two)

At the time there was literally NOTHING right for us on the market.  I kept checking realtor.com to see if just the right place would appear.  I figured God was going to make the process take a long time so we could all come to grips with this big change.  I was perfectly okay with that.

You see, I have loved being here.  This place is special.  The land is beautiful.  The pond is peaceful.  The home is warm.  My folks are here.  My family comes here often.

Don't get me wrong.  Multi-generational living has its challenges.  But the benefits have certainly outweighed the challenges and the time together has been so sweet.   

Two weeks into our search we found what we thought was just the right house.  It was in distressed condition but we were looking forward to restoring it.  It was going to be over 5,000 square feet when it was completed.  It had so much potential.  Long story short...the deal fell apart.

We were so sad but knew that God must have something else for us.  Again I checked online for more homes.  I was sure this was going to take forever.  When were we going to find another home that size for a decent price?  What a bummer.

Then I found it.

I had heard that this home would be going on the market but I had no idea how BEAUTIFUL it was.

EJ was out of state on business when the house came on the market.  I e-mailed him the link to the house.  He encouraged me to go see it.  I wasn't sure I wanted to do that without him.  I took Grammy and the boys and we checked the place out. 

I LOVED IT.

It has a very open floor plan.  I can have those big family gatherings I love to host.  Not to mention the size of the bedrooms, the wood floors, the vaulted ceiling, the sun room, the huge family room, the fireplaces, the built in book shelves, the storage space, etc.

So I told EJ all about it.  He encouraged me to go ahead an make an offer.  We knew what we were looking for.  This home has over 5,000 square feet and it is move in ready.  All I need to do is buy some furniture to fill it.

We literally bought this house while EJ was in another state! 

He just went with me to see it this morning and sign the paperwork. 

What an exciting time!

This is one of the pictures from the listing.  It just makes me happy...

(The sign says, "Christ is the head of this house.  He is the unseen guest in every room.")

You want to know something special?  Not only is there a heritage of faith in this home, there is also a heritage of adoption.  This home has always been owned by an adoptive family.

What does God have planned for us in this next chapter?

I believe He is bringing more children. 

This house will be ready to give them shelter and a place to call home.  Bring them home, Lord, in your perfect timing.  We are here with open arms.

Rooted and Established in the Spring

Here is a recent photo of the tree (or two trees) of my fascination because of the depiction of marriage that I see in it (them).

Just a few short months ago, the trees appeared devoid of life as they weathered the winter and days of intense fog.

Like the trees, every marriage goes through difficult seasons at some point - financial problems, car breakdowns, communication issues; and sometimes marriages are subjected to things that feel more like a lightening strike...trials that are harder than "normal" issues. A lightening strike may be a horrific blow like infidelity, the death of a child, or maybe a serious illness.

When those times come (and they will), a marriage may appear to be devoid of life and the only thing that holds a couple together is a decision...a decision that no matter how hard it gets, they will weather the storm together and come out on the other side. They decide to look to the One Who knows their story already - they trust in Him and cling together.

Now that spring has arrived, the trees are full of life. They have survived the winter's siege and lived through that harsh season; and with spring, buds appeared on the lifeless limbs - signs of hope - that became rich foliage. The spring rains seem to wash away the effects of the winter and coax the tree into a productive state once again. Only God knows what lies ahead for these trees - but the choice was made long ago for the two to become one and remain one until death parts them.

However, just because winter is past, doesn't mean the trees are safe. Danger still abounds. Storms, hail, and tornadoes openly threaten the trees but there are other dangers that quietly seek to destroy them and their union. There are insects and diseases that can destroy, as well as vines like poison ivy and bind weed that can kill the trees or seriously affect their health if not tended to. For married couples, dangers exist even when the season is seemingly calm and carefree. Addictions, complacency, and things that separate us from God and each other take a toll on relationships. Like killing bugs and weeds around the trees, we must be actively working to eliminate things that threaten our marriages.

While sounding the alarm about dangers, I recognize that we should count our blessings and joyfully experience spring when it comes. Praise and thank God for the sweet seasons in your life and look to Him. Dig into the truth of His Word and take it to heart. Enjoy spring.

Deuteronomy 11:13-15 “So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul—then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil. I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied."

Happy 4th Birthday Wubba!

Wubba wanted a "Duck Hunt" birthday party.

A friend made these awesome cupcakes.

Wubba went on a duck hunt early. 

We found this dead duck in the fridge before the party...little stinker!

Mommy and Daddy with their big 4 year old.

Just yesterday I was kissing his little face for the first time.

and falling deeply in love...

We were so excited to welcome him into the world.

We can hardly believe that four years have passed.

Just his presence brings us such joy.

He is a blessing and a gift.

Wubba, we love you to the moon. 

Super Mommy

That's right. 

The boys have deemed me a super hero. 

They gave me this official mask and insisted that I wear it.

Notice it is in the shape of a heart? 

I'm pretty sure my super hero power is to love them with super human strength.

You heard right...I gotta "coke guy"

So it all began last summer when Farm Chick and I were on a cruise in the Caribbean. We were walking out of the Jungle and what did we see...but a coke stand. I don't know if you know it, but Mexican coke is NOT the same as American coke. American coke is made with processed corn instead of REAL SUGAR!!! Those cokes that we had were DELICIOUS!!!!

Fast forward to several weeks ago; someone tipped me off that I could score some Mexican coke here in our home town. So I decided go buy some. They are 99 cents each, and let me tell you...I was soooooo excited!!!

So I bought four of them, and that same night Farm Chick and I decided that we should pop the tops of a couple of them. The problem is that we popped the tops at 10pm. Farm Chick and I haven't drank pop in a long while...barring that cruise coke, in years. Well lets just say that it wasn't a good idea. Because we got WOUND UP! We were laying in bed at 1am (2 hours after going to bed) just talking away, trying to figure out why we weren't the least bit tired?!!! That's what coke will do to you! (pun intended)!!

So a couple days later we're telling Pop about the coke that we had and what effect it had on us. He asked me "...where did you get the coke?" I replied, "...I got a guy..." He laughed and said, "wow, it sounds like you got a problem...a serious problem that you guys need help with!"

We decided to try the dark stuff again for a second time and see how far down the rabbit hole goes. This time though we started at 8pm so that we wouldn't be up so late with our problem. However, that did NOTHING. We were up again until 1am rambling on about stupid stuff and not being able to turn our minds off!

So this is a lesson for you kids out there...DON'T DO COKE! I'm sorry, I meant: DON'T DRINK COKE! Mexican coke that is! It'll make your mind do some crazy stuff!

So with that in mind, bottoms up!

He is Risen!

Happy Easter Friends!

I have been so blessed by the song "Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher.

Here is the link if you want to listen to it.

Here are the lyrics...

"Let no one caught in sin remain

Inside the lie of inward shame

We fix our eyes upon the cross

And run to him who showed great love

And bled for us

Freely you've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead

Trampling over death by death

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead

We are one with him again

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin

You bowed to none but heaven's will

No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown

No burden great can hold you down

In strength you reign

Forever let your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead

Trampling over death by death

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with him again

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Oh death, where is your sting?

Oh hell, where is your victory?

Oh church, come stand in the light

The glory of God has defeated the night

Sing it, Oh death, where is your sting?

Oh hell, where is your victory?

Oh church, come stand in the light

Our God is not dead, he's alive, he's alive

Christ is risen from the dead

Trampling over death by death

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead

We are one with him again

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead

Trampling over death by death

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead

We are one with him again

Come awake, come awake

Come and rise up from the grave"

Amazing!

The Four Sisters

Faith Lesson from the Garden

I’ve been busy with a lot of things at the farm that I haven’t done in some time…like vegetable gardening. Tilling, raking, staking, and planting take time. As I’ve worked in the garden I’ve had time to think and pray. The garden has become a place where I’m on my knees – literally and figuratively. It has become a place to seek God and contemplate the mysteries of the universe. I have cried out to Him on behalf of Farm Chick and EJ when the twins were taken to heaven. I’ve asked for wisdom, discernment and mercy there. I’ve interceded on behalf of our family and friends. I’ve sang, praised, and thanked Him for our many blessings.

I have planted a lot of seeds and as I have watered the dirt covering those seeds it occurred to me that planting a garden is a lesson about faith. Most every day this season, I’ve come to water the dirt. I don’t see the seeds that I planted beneath the surface at first. I trust that the seeds will germinate and that eventually I will see something above the surface.

So…I will keep watering the dirt…trusting in what I cannot see…I will celebrate as the work pays off in plants I can see later…I will praise and thank God for the produce that will come. We serve a God with Whom there are no accidents. We never catch Him off-guard. Even something as simple as a vegetable garden serves to teach us about the Creator of all things. Thanks, God! That is good stuff.

We will celebrate Easter this coming Sunday – the ultimate faith lesson. As Christ suffered and died on the cross for the redemption of mankind, I can only imagine what His followers were thinking in their human minds…such sorrow, total confusion…and yet, three days after He was laid in the tomb, HE AROSE!! What a celebration that must have been! The knowledge that Christ came to redeem us, that He died and was resurrected spurred the disciples to share the good news – sometimes even to their deaths – so that we could know the glory – so that we can share in that resurrection and spend eternity with Christ. Praise God! He is risen!!

Hebrews 11:1-3 says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

gross just gross

As a mom I deal with poop.  Lots of it.

I cloth diaper Q so sometimes I come up close and personal with poop.

Today as I prepared to wash out a stinky diaper with my diaper sprayer, I discovered a foreign object in the diaper.

Mr. Potato Head's mustache covered in doo doo. 

I had a decision to make.

Did I want to carefully clean up the mustache in order to salvage it?

Sorry Mr. Potato head, no facial hair for you.

Get your motor running...

Wild Women: Pretty Princess and Grammy. 

Seriously, how cute are they?!?!

The handyman gets befuddled...

I am NOT a mechanic; however my dad did raise me to have some knowledge about vehicles and how to make sure that I wouldn't get stranded or let the car blow up! Lessons like, how to jump start a car, how to change the oil, change the alternator, change the plugs and wires, and put on a spare tire. Those are some of the basics that I learned while under his tutelage.

Fast forward to this weekend. We (the whole family...Farm Chick, me, and all the cowboys) were a bit late going to take care of my grandmother for a while (she's needing 24 hour care these days). On our way there, a tire went completely flat while going 65 mph on the highway. CRAP! So I pulled over to the side of the road (it was a two lane road, so we didn't have the benefit of everyone coming on our side being able to just move over to the other lane...there might be someone coming). I hop out and realize I haven't changed a tire in this car yet.

Most of the time when I see a flat coming I'm able to air it up enough to get to the tire shop and just have it fixed, however this tire was a goner and I was going to have to put a spare on it to get to town. On this model of minivan the spare is between the passenger and driver seats under the car. You have to twist a nut in the floorboard just between the seats...(very weird placement), then you're supposed to be able to get the tire out and jack the car up and put the new tire on. However much to my chagrin, this tire would NOT come lose. Of course, the tire that was flat was the right front tire, that coupled with the placement of the spare made it nearly impossible to get ANY access to it! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

I have quite a few ME friends(mechanical engineer), this message is for you: "Don't be this stupid with things you do and make the end user so frustrated!"

In the end we had to call the tire shop and have them come get my tire off, go get a used tire, and come back and put that one on.  (all while we were on the side of the road) Then Farm Chick and I had to go back to our house, switch out all the car seats into the other car. She left in a hurry to relieve the grandma watcher and I headed to the shop so they could put a new tire on it. Instead of costing me $10, it cost me $135...that really stinks!

Amen!

"I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD."

Psalm 27:13-14

natural consequences

When you have a new baby it is your job to keep their little belly full.  You measure your success as a mom by how they gain weight.  There is some kind of connection between mothering and food.

When they are toddlers you are still trying to make sure they eat the right stuff and enough of it.

When they reach 4 (or so) you begin to have this conversation...

"Sweetie, this is what's for dinner.  This is what we are eating.  If you are hungry, you will eat.  You don't have to eat if you are not hungry.  But, the kitchen is closed after dinner.  There will be no snacks."

Then your child continues to turn up their nose at the food before him.

Then dinner is over.

Then it is time for bath and bed.

Then said child begins to whine.  "I'm hungry!  I want a snack!"

The mother-food connection in your brain starts to freak out.  Oh my stars!  My poor baby is going to starve to death.  So you consider going back on your word.  After all, the child is probably very hungry. 

Then you pull yourself together.

"Honey, Mommy told you that when dinner was over there would be no more food.  You chose not to eat and now it is time for bed."

Much weeping and wailing ensues.  Mostly from the child but some from you as you sit in the other room and wish they didn't have to experience natural consequences.

I choose freedom

EJ and I have not had the easiest road to parenthood.  It has been marked by joys and sorrows.

For two years of my life I obsessed about becoming pregnant.  I researched, I charted, I chatted, I prayed, I timed, I tested, I cried, I felt like I would lose my mind.

I will never forget laying in bed one night crying uncontrollably.  EJ tried to comfort me.  I just couldn't breathe.  I don't know that I've ever had a panic attack but that was as close as I ever want to get to one.

EJ called my folks.  He told them what was going on and then put the phone to my ear.

I couldn't even make words come out.

I just continued to sob.

Grammy and Pop took turns praying over me.

I tried to quiet my sobbing enough to hear them.

I calmed down as they prayed truth over me. 

EJ thanked them and then held me close while I fell asleep.

Life hurt so much. 

You know our story, we went on to have children, 2 by birth, 1 by adoption and 3 in heaven.

For nearly four years (after Wubba was born), I had been infertile, again.  No pregnancies.

You know what?  I was okay with that.  I really was.  Q had come through adoption and I was tickled to add to our family in that way.  I didn't long to be pregnant.  I didn't obsess.  I didn't feel sad about it.  I was just fine.

Totally fine.

Then God messed me up.

He gave me another pregnancy and sweetened the deal by putting two in there!  What could be better? 

Then my twins took off for heaven before I even got to know them.

Ouch.

All those thoughts came tumbling back.

For four weeks I have been standing at a cross road.  Trying to decide which way to go. 

It is a battle for my mind.

Am I going back there?  To the place of obsession.  To the place where becoming pregnant consumes my every thought?  No one would judge me.  I have been through a terrible loss and others would understand my desire to have another pregnancy.

But I have tasted freedom. 

I have lived in it.

You know what?

I like freedom.

I like trusting that God will create life when and how he chooses without my strong grip of control on the process.

I like living with confidence that my God loves me and will work all things together for my good.

Enemy, I am done wrestling with you.

I choose freedom.

I choose trust.

I choose to throw my hands up and enjoy this roller coaster ride.

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us.

9 "However, as it is written:  “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— 10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God."

1 Corinthians 2:9-10

The soon-to-be birthday boy

Wubba is SO excited to be turning 4!  His birthday isn't for another week and a half but his party is in a week.  The one thing we know he wants for sure is Duck Hunt.  It's been on his mind for ages.  In fact, he regularly asked to go to Target to see Duck Hunt.  The last time we went to Target we decided to do a photo wish list for his grandparents.  He loved taking pictures with cool toys.

Duck Hunt Game

Spiderman Truck

Imaginext SpaceToy

Spider Man Web Shooter

Imaginext Airplanes

Trio Super Heroes

This looks like a job for superman...

Wusification part Deux

Does 5th place in a tee ball tournament really need a trophy? What are we teaching our kids...that if you aren't the best you'll still win?

In the real world if there are five bidders an RFQ (request for quote)...and you come in 5th...YOU DON'T win a trophy. You go home and figure out what you didn't do that the customer wanted and work hard to do better so that next time you can win the bid!

My Fellas

A Time to Plant - Sod, Etc.

Things never stand still. We are on the roller coaster ride we call life now and will be until we go to be with God. We are constantly in a cycle that is aptly described in the third chapter of Ecclesiastes, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Right now, it is a time to plant! Things are turning green at Four Sisters Farm! Some of it naturally, and some of it by owner design. Some good, some bad. We have grass growing (good), weeds everywhere (bad), radishes peeking up from their row in the garden (good), and did I say weeds everywhere? Yeah – you get the picture. If there were such a thing as a “weed farm” we’d be a top producer! There are the spring bulb flowers popping up…some in strange places like around the perimeter of the well house and around the hedge apple tree nearby. Then there are the flowers and the yucca plant that apparently will grow even in crushed rock…where I don’t want anything but grass. We took matters into our own hands with our back and side yards this year. The farm hands came to help out and we laid down sod…ah…instant yard, instant gratification. Good stuff. Of course, there was all the prep work – like tilling the ground, rock removal, raking and more raking, etc. Pop and EJ even had to dig up a drainage system designed to handle rain water from the guttering that only served to wash out a portion of the back yard…now that is fixed too. I’m SO grateful that Pop knows how to do these things and that they need to be done. I’ve lived much of my life in a glorious and safe “bubble” of not knowing these things (much to Pop’s dismay).





We will enjoy the yard and the garden produce and revel in the way the Master Gardner (God) makes things grow. I will never get too old to marvel at the way God designed the reproduction of plants…real food from little bitty seeds…Good stuff.

my toot bottom

One of our sons (who shall remain nameless) ripped a big 'ol toot.

His brother said, "Who tooted!?!?!"

He answered, "It was my toot bottom because I have to go poop!"

So, next time you need to excuse yourself to do a number two, just say, "Excuse me, I have a toot bottom."

I think it might catch on.

Sister Spa Day

Healing from a miscarriage takes time.

My heart is healing well.

My body is returning back to normal.

My life is moving forward.

My look, however, was going no where good. 

I had been neglecting all beauty routines for a while.  During pregnancy I was just too tired to deal with much.  It was more important to me to sleep and eat than it was to schedule pampering appointments.

After the miscarriage, I knew I would need a little make over to get back to life.  In fact, I had been thinking about how I could schedule several things.  (When you are a mom scheduling takes on a life of it's own.  You have to make sure your little blessings are well taken care of before you can run off for a little break).  I assumed it would take me all month long to get several things done.

Enter my fantastic Sisters...

Rock Star cleared my calendar on Monday.  She booked Grammy to watch the cowboys and told me what time to be at her place.  (Grammy, I am so grateful for you)

I was greeted with flowers from my sweet nephew.

And this card...

We went to our favorite Mexican restaraunt and met Pretty Princess there. 

Oh my stars...Lunch was so stinkin' good!

Next we headed to DW's house.

The house was so peaceful.

There was spa music playing and these beauties were on the table.

This verse was on the wall.  You can't help but have a happy heart when you read it.

Sweet Lou Lou had this picture and a necklace for me.

The sisters presented me with this card...

(in case you can't read it..."Sis, We've ordered this necklace for you!  It is engraved on the back with the words "remembered and loved".  We love you and celebrate the little ones that we will someday meet!  Love, Your Sisters")

I was determined not to cry during my fun spa day but I couldn't help but tear up when I read the card.

No time to be sappy.  We had to get to work. 

Rock Star started the party with some waxing.  I look peaceful here but believe me, waxing is not peaceful.  Good thing Rock Star is so good at it!  She made up for it though, by giving me a facial. 

Pretty Princess gave me a glorious manicure and pedicure.  My nails are amazing and my hands and feet are so soft!

DW colored, cut and styled my hair.  Good hair just makes a girl so happy!  Then Rock Star finished up my amazing spa experience by putting on my make up. 

Didn't they do a great job!  I felt like a whole new woman.  Being in their presence for a day was enough to lift my spirits.  Having them pamper me was such a blessing.  Good heavens I love these women!

As a perfect end to a perfect day, EJ met me for dinner with a dozen beautiful roses.   I love that man!

Sisters,

I regularly thank God for giving me each one of you.  When we were growing up, I took for granted just how incredible it was to be one of the four sisters.  I didn't realize the great gift we had been given.  Mom and Dad allows stressed how important our relationships were.  Turns out they were right.  Each of one you brings something so special into my life.  I have no words to tell you how much this day meant to me.  Each one of you gave up your time just to be with me, to love me, to serve me and to help me heal.  I will never forget it.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for being more than sisters to me.

You are each beautiful inside and out. 

I love you big time (or as Rock Star would say, "I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"),

Your Sis

Skinny Jeans...

Farm Chick and I were at our local Target and I have been needing some new jeans...and if you know me, I when I find something that works, I usually don't change from it very easily or quickly (thanks for that one dad!).

So I get the same jeans every single time. They are Wrangler 34X34...relaxed fit. These fit wonderfully and are relatively inexpensive...only about $15 at your local Walmart (I LOVE WALMART)! I usually have to buy relaxed fit jeans because my quads and calves are huge (probably from the running)...I don't have chicken legs like alot of white guys or long distance runners.


So back to Target that fateful day. Unfortunately being the size that I am there aren't alot of them in stock...I don't know if it's not a common size so they just don't usually have it, or if it's so common that they can't keep it in stock.  Anyway, they had the size in stock and I threw them in the cart without thinking twice. We got home and Farm Chick washed them up.

A couple of days later I had to go out of town for an overnight visit on business. So when I left for work, I had packed for the evening drive some comfortable clothes instead of the usual suit! I packed my new jeans of course. That afternoon, I was changing at my office, when I started putting on my new jeans, something was horribly wrong! Had I bought skinny jeans?!! Had I bought the cowboy wranglers?!! (I know I live on a farm, but I just can't do it...they're NOT comfortable on me!) I had to practically lather myself in lotion and baby powder to get into them (for those of you young people out there that was a "Friends" reference!) This was NOT going to work!

So I went across the street to the Walmart and prayed that they would have exactly my size in the kind of jeans that I needed. Hallelujah, they did!

dynamic duo

Sod is on it's way to Four Sisters Farm.  Pop and Grammy have been prepping for the big day.

One of the tasks was to remove rocks from the dirt where the sod would be laid.

Enter the dynamic duo of Grammy and Wubba.

First Wubba digs up some dirt

Next he dumps it on the rake

Then Grammy dumps it in the colander

Then they "shake it don't break it baby"

Now it is time to carry it to the wheel barrow

and dump it right in

Look at all those rocks!

Grammy and Wubba are a fantastic team!